Cognitive Techniques

A calm mind can help a lot. Our thoughts are a useful tool but they are not who we are and at times of anxiety they can become a hindrance if they get out of control. Creating a space just to be is a good starting point, whether it is by introducing a moment of calm through mindfulness or meditation. But our thoughts can also be worked with. Where we are engaging in unrealistic demands, black or white thinking or unrealistic thinking we can challenge our thoughts. Are they logical? Are they realistic? What would be a better alternative belief? But challenging our thoughts is not the end point as a life worth living is one where we are focussed on what matters, not engaging in an ongoing battle with our thoughts. Once we have created space, realised and challenged any unhelpful beliefs that may be holding us back, we can simply move on. We can just be mindful of thoughts that come and go but just re-focus and take action in the direction of what matters to us most.

1. Calm your internal state

In the same way that thoughts can generate feelings, the emotional state we are in can also heavily influence our thoughts. For example, being in a state of high anxiety can actually change our thinking. It increases our perception of risk and the likely negative impact of any event and decreases our awareness of what resources we have to help ourselves. Calming our internal state can therefore calm our thoughts.

However, this is easier said than done. It is very hard to think yourself into a calmer state. Instead, we need to break out of this state by engaging in an entirely different type of activity – such as taking a walk outside, doing some breathing exercises or meditation or engaging in a social activity you may not feel like doing. Although this sounds simple, it can be very hard to actually do these activities when they don’t match your emotional state. The last thing you want to do when you are in a state of ‘fight or flight’ is to meditate. But if the danger is not real then this is exactly what you need to do to calm yourself.

So the first step is the simplest, possibly the hardest to remember and actually do, but can have the biggest impact – start by calming your internal state.

2. Challenge your thoughts

At it simplest we experience events and almost immediately afterwards experience an emotional response to the event. It is as if the event caused the emotion. But in the short gap between the event and our emotions are the beliefs we have about what actually happened, whether this breaks any core rules we have and what we think the likely consequences will be.

It is the nature of our thoughts about the event that causes the emotion rather than the event in isolation. These thoughts are something that can be challenged and worked with. Are these thoughts or rules we hold logical, realistic or practical? Are we holding ourselves to a higher standard than we would hold a friend? Does the belief actually make sense? Our thoughts can be challenged on three main levels:

Core beliefs – What we deeply and often unconsciously believe about ourselves and the people and world around us
Rules for thinking – Are we catastrophising, engaging in black and white thinking, applying exclusively negative filters?
Negative automatic thoughts – Quick and automatic thoughts that pop in our mind in response to an event or our thoughts of what could happen. Are these thoughts reasonable or are they exaggerated?

Putting this all together, where we have unhealthy or rigid core beliefs, an unhelpful event can be interpreted as disastrous. This in turn can lead to unhealthy negative emotions and unhelpful behaviour. By softening or challenging the core belief and challenging our interpretation of the situation we can have more healthy negative emotions in relation to the event and engage in more healthy behaviours in response. These are set out in the table below.

Unhealthy beliefs and emotions	Healthy beliefs and emotions
Rigid or irrational core beliefs – “I must be perfect”	Flexible and rational core beliefs – “I would like to do well”
Activating Event – Things don’t go as planned	Activating Event – Things don’t go as planned
Unhealthy beliefs – “This is a disaster” (catastrophising)	Healthy beliefs – “This is disappointing”
Unhealthy negative emotions – Anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, hurt, anger	Healthy negative emotions – Concern, sadness, remorse, disappointment, sorrow, anger
Unhealthy behaviours – Avoidance, procrastination	Healthy behaviour – Taking corrective action, recognising learning points

3. Refocus on what matters

A final stage to dealing with thoughts and emotions in addition to the two above comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). In its simplest form this involves withdrawing from the battle with thoughts and refocussing and taking action towards what matters to you. This doesn’t take away from the first two stages mentioned above. Calming your state and challenging unreasonable thoughts are good in their own right and will bring benefits. But arriving at a state of fully rational thoughts and a fully calm mind are not an end goal in themselves. If the focus remains on them the effort will never end. Instead, ACT proposes a more mindful acceptance of thoughts as they are, and a refocussing towards your values. You can then take action towards your goals in parallel with any uncomfortable thoughts and emotions which may still be there.

A number of tools exist within the ACT framework to move from being hooked on troubling thoughts and emotions to unhooking and moving towards your values and goals. These tools include:

Present moment awareness – flexibly paying attention to our experience in the present
Defusing – stepping back from thoughts instead of getting tangled up with them
Acceptance – making room for troubling thoughts and emotions
Observing self – we are not our thoughts, we are observing our thoughts
Know what matters – know your values, be aware of your goals
Take action – do what it takes to move towards your values and goals